Dangerous Intentions
by honeyMellon
Summary: Shuuhei is left alone in Soul Society while Renji is away in Karakura. A secret that has been well-hidden for a long time threatens to surface, and both of them are unaware of the awaiting danger.
1. Chapter 1

**This is for Gypsygrrl, who's the first one to get the correct answer to the little quiz in "Tease". Hope you'll like it!**

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**Chapter 1**

* * *

The gushing sound of the torrent of water in the shower did little to conceal the ragged pants that echoed off the walls of the small space. The hand moved frantically, almost desperately, accompanied by the sounds of flesh against soap-slicked flesh. A low, muffled sob signaled the arrival of long-sought relief. The rush of pleasure that coursed through the veins of the man in the shower satiated the physical need, but only served to accentuate the emotional ache that reminded him of the emptiness in his soul.

* * *

Lost in their personal bubble of playful banter and suggestive innuendos, the two vice captains were oblivious to the pair of purple eyes that followed them as they strolled down the street in Seireitei. The eyes, though, took in every detail of the shorter of the two; every curve on the lean frame, every crease in the black sleeveless shihakusho, every subtle sway of the coarse, spiky dark hair on the man's head. The man's straight back and broad shoulders radiated confidence and power, his firm steps masculine yet graceful. Everything about the man was perfect.

Such was not true, though, about his red-haired companion. The eyes darkened and narrowed as they flicked to the other vice captain with disdain. The color of his hair was too harsh, the stark outlines of dark ink against tan skin too barbaric, the hands too big, too rough, and the air of arrogance in those lips—_the eyes gleamed with anger_—how was such a low specimen worthy of the dark-haired man? What did he have that _he_ did not?

As the two men disappeared around the corner, _he_—the owner of the large, almond-shaped purple eyes—clenched his fists and retreated into the shadows.

* * *

"Ahhhh...there, my last signature for the day!" Shuuhei announced with a grin, waving his brush in the air dramatically.

Across from him, sitting on the empty desk in the 9th division office, Renji looked at him with bored-looking, heavy-lidded eyes. His hands were sprawled carelessly on the wooden surface, with one propped on an elbow to support his head, which was cocked to the side in an exaggerated display of exhaustion and impatience.

"Yay," Renji said dryly. He was so hungry that his stomach had even stopped growling, seemingly sulking from the lack of attention from its owner.

Shuuhei's grin widened as he walked over and gave the redhead a good smack on the head. "Oh stop whining, Renji!" he teased. "Come, I'll make it up to you. Dinner's on me."

Renji remained in his seat but his eyes lit up. A corner of his mouth curled up in a sly smile, baring his teeth. "I want something else."

His dark-haired partner blushed. "Stupid horny bastard," Shuuhei said in mock annoyance.

The chair scrapped the cement floor as Renji finally got onto his feet. "Let's go," he said, throwing an arm over Shuuhei's shoulders.

Dinner was a hasty affair; neither of them concentrated on the food. In fact, if anyone were to ask Shuuhei what he had, he would not be able to give a definite answer. Chicken, perhaps, or some leafy vegetable. He didn't care. All he wanted—needed—was something to fill his stomach. His mind, and to a certain extent, even his body, was already somewhere else. Renji was evidently in the same state, judging from the way he was wolfing down his food. They locked gaze occasionally; each time, the gleam of excitement and desire shone brighter in their eyes.

Renji had been gone on his long-term mission for a few months. It was only early that morning that he came back for a quick report, and he was due to return to Karakura by midnight. Shuuhei had missed his presence. Just the sight of the redhead, his smell, and his voice, made Shuuhei want to cry out. But, as desperate as he was, he could not abandon his duty as the acting captain in his division, and so Renji could only wait. The evening could not arrive fast enough.

By the time they reached Shuuhei's bed, they were panting, clawing at each other's clothes, growling in impatience at the thickness and inconvenience of their garments.

"Oh, I've missed you," Renji whispered, his hands clutching Shuuhei's dark hair. Lying on the bed on his back, he pulled the man into a possessive embrace and nuzzled the familiar curves of Shuuhei's neck and shoulder.

Shuuhei moaned as he ran trembling fingers over the redhead's chest. "You've become leaner," he observed. He pulled away just long enough for him to duck down to claim Renji's lips.

Breathing heavily, Renji somehow managed to answer. "I've been training with Sado," he said between gasps. "The boy's growing."

The last part of his sentence was lost on Shuuhei, who had since moved down to place wet kisses along Renji's abdomen. Renji squeezed his eyes shut when he felt Shuuhei's warm breath near his hip. "God," he moaned. "I don't think I'll be able to last very long."

"Me neither," came Shuuhei's muffled reply.

Renji laughed, and then his laughter turned into a shuddering moan when he felt Shuuhei's mouth on him. He dug his fingers into Shuuhei's hair. "Oh, god," he panted. Shuuhei's name followed in breathy whispers.

The sounds, though barely audible, were like a drug to Shuuhei, egging him on, fanning his lust. He sucked, Renji's familiar taste making tension coil deep in his gut, and he groaned around Renji.

"Fuck, Shuuhei," Renji gasped, tugging at Shuuhei's hair. "Stop, _stop!_" He already knew he won't be able to last, but this was too soon, too abrupt. He wanted to feel Shuuhei in him, needed to feel the warmth of the man's body on top of his.

Shuuhei's deep laugh made Renji chuckle as well. "I didn't realize that I'm _that_ good," he said, his grey eyes glinting with mischief.

If Renji were not in such urgent need, that comment would have cost Shuuhei at least a bruised rib, or a small bite, but at the moment the redhead was too far gone to care. Shuuhei _was_ good, but the best had yet to come. "Shuu—" Renji's voice broke off, silenced by a deep kiss that left him breathless and on the edge of whimpering.

He welcomed the sweet pain that he had missed dearly with an appreciative grunt, and he wrapped his legs around Shuuhei's waist to press the man closer to him, coaxing the thrusts deeper. His consciousness wavered as their body began a familiar rhythm; his hips rose to meet Shuuhei's, each contact punctuated by shuddering moans from both of them.

With their frenzied pace, it didn't take long for them to reach their peak. Renji's cries were muffled as he buried his face in Shuuhei's shoulder, but Shuuhei's choked sobs were loud and clear. Their bodies trembled against each other as they rode out the wave of their climax, then, they collapsed in a heap and lay prone in a possessive embrace.

* * *

As the last traces of the milky white substance disappeared down the drain along with soapy water and tears, _he_ sagged against the tiled walls in the shower. It was nights like this that _he_ hated the most. They never bothered to mask their passion, their affection and lust for each other thick in their reiatsu. Shoulders shaking helplessly, _he_ cried.

* * *

**There's more to this story, naturally, but in the meantime I'll let you guess who **_**he**_** is. ;) I'm mean like that.**


	2. Chapter 2

**I couldn't put down my virtual pen. ;) **

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**Chapter 2**

* * *

Shuuhei was only vaguely aware of the light kisses on his head and low murmurs of affection when Renji left. When he finally opened his eyes in the morning, his heart sank as his hand touched the cold, empty sheets next to him. Once again he was resigned to lonely nights until the next time Renji comes back for a report.

Stretching his stiff limbs, Shuuhei sat up. He could, of course—and he had done so before—arrange a quick mission for himself, just a quick couple of hours in Karakura. But lately the tension in Seireitei had gotten worse, the members in the Gotei 13 were so high-strung about possible attacks that tempers were easily lost. Fights often broke out within the courtyards, usually between different divisions. Some nights it was so bad that curfews were ordered.

The tap water seemed especially freezing this morning, a stark contrast from the cozy warmth in Renji's arms that he had enjoyed the night before. Groaning inwardly, Shuuhei washed his face, which had sudden flushed at the recollection of their nocturnal activities. The second time around, they were both able to last much, much longer, and he felt a familiar soreness and dull ache as he climbed into the shower. Turning the water temperature just shy of scalding hot, Shuuhei let his muscles relax. The water felt soothing on his skin, and along with it, washed away a tiny bit of the stress he'd been carrying. All the ranked officers in Gotei 13 had been feeling the strain, and he envied Renji. At least he had friends over there like Ichigo and Rukia; Shuuhei had no one he could confide in without adding onto their already-heavy burden. Kira was his best friend, but the poor guy was also leading his division by himself, he most certainly did not need to hear Shuuhei's complaints.

* * *

The set of eyes that followed the lean form that stepped out of the small personal quarters held the sight greedily. _He_ had tried to hold back that morning, but found his resolve crumble when he sensed that the redhead had left Soul Society.

_He_ had not slept well last night. After crying for a good portion of the night, he finally drifted off to a light sleep. But graphic images haunted him and he found himself jolted awake several times during the night. As usual, he had awoken with a disgusting mess between his legs when dawn broke. Over the years he had learned to cope with it, both physically and mentally, but last night was especially difficult because of the emotional turmoil he had felt right before bed.

His footsteps were so light that he moved almost like a ghost, completely undetected as he repressed his reiatsu. He followed the object of his obsession until the man disappeared into the 9th division office, and after staring after the entrance for a few minutes, he finally sighed and walked away. He felt restless, on edge, spoiling for a fight. But he had to be careful, _he_ did not want to call any unnecessary attention to himself. He had been this way ever since the red-haired lowlife began to spend more and more time away from Seireitei.

Sucking in a deep breath, _he_ stepped over the threshold of his own barracks, and resigned himself to another arduous day at work.

* * *

Sitting still on the stiff, uncomfortable chair was difficult; Shuuhei repeatedly shifted his weight to alleviate the ache on his bottom. But, morbid as it may sound, the discomfort served to sooth his loneliness slightly, reminding him of the man dear in his heart. Ah, but it hurt, and Shuuhei's hand trembled slightly as he signed document after document.

At least he had something to look forward to tonight. During lunchtime, Kira had dropped by to inform him of dinner plans. Their usual group had decided to get together to take some time to relax in friendly company, and he had readily agreed to join.

When he finally arrived at the izakaya restaurant later that day, his spirits lifted as he was greeted warmly by his good friends; Matsumoto had her head resting on Kira's shoulder, her face already flushed from the sake she had consumed before dinner, Ikkaku was loudly arguing with Yumichika about who had performed the best during the day's training session. To his surprise, even Momo joined them. Her eyes were also tired from lack of sleep, or perhaps it was from the stress from leading her division by herself, but her smile was bright as she basked in glow of being surrounded by friends.

"Aww, you started without me again," Shuuhei groused playfully, giving Matsumoto's head a swat as he sat down next to her.

The woman batted her eyelashes at her friend as she hiccuped. "Hitsugaya-taicho was especially mean to me today," she complained.

Shuuhei grinned. Any amount of work would be deemed as _too much_ work by the blond, but her laid-back attitude was what kept her energized under the stress of working under a demanding captain.

Stomach growling, Shuuhei waved for the waitress.

* * *

_He_ eyed the dark-haired vice captain. As usual he blended in with the group of friends easily, his deep voice bursting into laughter now and then, laughing at Kira's increasing inability to hold his liquor as the night progressed. Shuuhei hid his loneliness well; he had always been a master at concealing his emotions. That was how he held himself together so well after the betrayal of his beloved captain. But _he_ knew better. Underneath all that was a heartbroken man. Despite his dislike of the 6th division vice captain, he sometimes felt thankful that Shuuhei had someone to lean on, even if that someone was not _he_.

It wasn't that _he_ disliked the redhead solely based on his appearance, nor did he dislike him from the start. In the beginning, he had had no problems getting along with the redhead. After all, they had been in the same squad before. But after the man advanced in his career and became a vice captain in the prestigious 6th division and grew closer to Shuuhei, _he_ began to find faults in the man.

All of a sudden, the way the redhead behaved grated on _his_ nerves; he was always so straightforward, his laughs always too loud, and oh don't even get _him_ started on how the man fights! Time and again _he_ wondered what Shuuhei saw in the man. Was it the passion he had in bed?

_He_ gritted his teeth as his thoughts wandered down that path. Indeed, what did Shuuhei see in the man such that he was willing to throw his life away for the man? When _he_ had heard of the grave injuries that Shuuhei suffered in Karakura, he nearly went mad with worry. Then, his worry turned into fury when he found out that the injuries were from an attack that was meant for _Renji_. He wanted so badly to rush to Karakura himself, but he forced himself to remain in Soul Society because he knew that he would give himself away if he were to see Shuuhei in that condition.

Why he was so terrified of letting his affection for Shuuhei known, he still didn't fully understand. Perhaps it had to do with the fact that _he_ was part of the most bloodthirsty, supposedly-masculine division in Gotei 13. Shuuhei's brush with death actually pushed him to confess his feelings, and he had decided to do it once Shuuhei returned to Soul Society. But alas, when the man returned, he did not return alone. _He_ had been devastated; where once Shuuhei was out of his reach only because of his own cowardice, now it was because his heart had been claimed.

After that, _his_ hatred for Renji grew. Outwardly, however, nobody ever noticed. Over the years he had refined the skill to hide his deepest, darkest secret. Perhaps it was a subconscious emulation of Shuuhei's ability to stay strong through difficult times.

Since then, the shameless—though invisible to the eye—display of affection and pure lust between the two lovers tormented _him_. Nearly every night, _he_ had to endure the raw passion that was so clear in their reiatsu. He felt as though they were taunting him, reminding him that it could have been _him_ lying in Shuuhei's arms if he had not been so hesitant. Every time he sensed Shuuhei's arousal, and worse, the feeling of utter completion in the man after their lovemaking, his heart seemed to die a little, and he would feel a rush of anger at the redhead.

There was once he thought there was a secret kinship between _him_ and Shuuhei, because he showed the man something that even his best friend didn't know. Shuuhei had shown him the utmost respect by keeping the secret safe, but what _he_ thought was a step forward in their friendship was nothing but soldier's honor.

A hearty burst of laughter brought _him_ back to reality. His grip on the sake cup tightened subconsciously as he looked at Shuuhei's smile. The man was smiling, but there was a hint of sadness—loneliness—in his eyes; he could hide it from everyone else but not from _him_.

_He_ sighed. At least tonight, with Renji gone, he would not have to suffer the agony brought on by their nighttime activities.

* * *

**It's amazing how quickly Nila101 figured out who _he_ is! Well, I think I've dropped so many hints in this chapter that I've pretty much broadcasted the answer! Anyone reeling in disbelief?**


	3. Chapter 3

**This is the last chance to guess _his_ name! ;) A very big thank you to Nila101 and Cptn. Suz for commenting and reading! :D**

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**Chapter 3**

* * *

Shuuhei flung himself down on the bed. Facing the ceiling, he hiccupped and smiled. This was why he liked drinking with Matsumoto; she always managed to get everyone drunk, and today was no different. Even though Shuuhei knew that the hangover he would surely get the next day would make him regret this, he didn't stop drinking until Momo took away his cup.

Drinking made him forget some things; things that he would rather not think about, like the war, like Tousen. He also thought drinking would dull some of his loneliness and allow him to fall into deep sleep that night so that he wouldn't think of how much he missed Renji, but to his dismay, it only made it worse. Being drunk alone reminded him of the times Renji and he had gotten drunk together. They'd tried to help each other to the restroom, only to trip over their feet and end up pulling the other down to the floor. Oh, and the drunken sex that they'd had...those were really something.

Swearing under his breath, Shuuhei turned to his side and curled up. It was a bad idea to think about that. His face, which was already flushed from alcohol, flushed even deeper as he felt himself harden. Groaning, he forced himself to think of other things, paperwork, training..._anything_ to get his mind off of the growing heat in his loins. He felt ashamed; he was acting like a teenager, getting aroused at the slightest notion of sex.

Despite his best efforts, his traitorous body defied his willpower, and Shuuhei found himself caving. Hands trembling, he fumbled with his _obi_ and tugged his _hakama_ down to his thighs, then, he reached down.

* * *

_He _moaned and brought up the covers over his head. He hated these nights too, when he could feel the flare of Shuuhei's _reiatsu_ as the man tended to himself. It would go unnoticed by most people, but _he_ had long since become an expert on detecting Shuuhei's moods based on the man's spiritual pressure; he knew what each fluctuation meant, perhaps even before Shuuhei realized it himself.

Frustrated at the gnawing torment, _he_ threw off his cover and stood up. Then his eyes widened as a new thought struck him.

* * *

Shuuhei's eyes were tightly shut as he stroked himself. In his mind, Renji was between his legs, doing all those wonderful things that Renji did so well. His fantasy was so real that he could almost hear Renji's voice; that deep, throaty whisper that he reserved specially for Shuuhei when they're alone.

A ragged moan escaped Shuuhei's lips right as he felt the coil of tension in his belly snap, and a blinding rush of pleasure crashed over him. Toes curled, he arched his back and whispered Renji's name as warmth overflowed his fist to pool between his legs. Spent and emotionally raw, Shuuhei sank into the pillows and sighed. He wondered what Renji was doing over on the other side. Was he also calling Shuuhei's name?

* * *

_He_'d held his breath for so long that he almost swayed into the wall from dizziness. So this was what Shuuhei looked like when he came. The slight frown and parted lips painted a perfect picture of bliss, spoiled only by the name that rolled off his tongue. Squeezing his eyes shut, _he_ committed the erotic image of Shuuhei in his memory.

Now that _he_ had gotten such an intimate glimpse of the object of his desires, he knew a layer of his facade had crumbled away. He could not _un_see this, could not pretend that he didn't want to see it again. He also could not deny the unbridled rage that welled up in his chest from hearing _that_ name. It should be _his_ name, he would make sure of that.

* * *

The next morning, just as the sky began to lighten to a delicate shade of pink and orange, Shuuhei arrived at his office. As usual, he had trouble sleeping. This always happened right after Renji's departure; he had tossed and turned through most of the night, and coupled with the large amount of sake he had consumed during dinner, Shuuhei was certain his head was going to burst halfway through his paperwork. His only consolation was that he had the office to himself, so nobody would see his dark circles and chapped lips.

Losing track of time, he was jolted from his seat by a soft knock. After straightening his uniform to look more presentable, he cleared his throat and invited the visitor into the office.

"Ayasegawa-san!" Shuuhei greeted his friend with a smile.

Ayasegawa Yumichika looked stunning as always. The vibrant colors of the feathers on his eyelashes contrasted beautifully with his jet-black, jaw-length hair and complimented his purple eyes. Shuuhei always wondered how the man looked so put-together every day; he had definitely downed as much sake as Shuuhei had, if not more, but his skin was as smooth and flawless as ever, his eyes bright and alert. He showed no sign of fatigue, unlike Shuuhei, who was just barely able to stay awake to scribble his signature.

"Don't get up," Yumichika said with an elegant wave of his hand when Shuuhei pushed away from his desk. He walked soundlessly to Shuuhei's desk and placed a flask next to a stack of folders.

"What is it?" Shuuhei asked, pointing to the flask. "Not more sake, I hope?"

Yumichika laughed. "No, Hisagi-san," he said, patting the flask proudly. "_This_...is my home-brewed antidote for hangovers. I figured you'd need it."

"Ahh." Shuuhei immediately picked up the flask and popped open the top. "I definitely do." He gave the liquid a tentative sniff, then finished it all in two quick gulps. It tasted grassy, slightly bitter but not too unpleasant. Not bad for something close to medicine, Shuuhei supposed. "I can't thank you enough," he said, giving Yumichika a grateful smile. "I have an afternoon field training session to lead, I was just wondering what I should do about it. I may not have to cancel it after all if this works on me as well as it does on you."

Yumichika's face lit up at the compliment. "It's my pleasure," he said. "Still, it is best that you fill your stomach today and drink lots of water. You don't want your skin to become sallow from dehydration."

Shuuhei arched an eyebrow. "You sound like quite the expert," he teased.

The 11th division fifth seat blushed slightly. "I need to, having a drunkard for a best friend," Yumichika said, referring to Ikkaku. "Speaking of which, we're going out for lunch later. Would you care to join us?" He looked at Shuuhei expectantly, heart pounding in his chest.

Shuuhei frowned and scratched the back of his head. "I dunno..." He eyed the stack of documents on his desk. "I have a lot to do today..."

"Come on," Yumichika prodded. "You need to eat anyway."

Shuuhei laughed. "You sound like Renji, always nagging me about eating lunch." He did not notice the sudden darkening of Yumichika's eyes, nor the flex of the man's jaw at the mention of the redhead's name.

"So?" Yumichika asked. Inwardly he seethed at being compared to _him_ this way, but then he relaxed. Perhaps that's not a bad thing, in fact he could use it to his own benefit; showing the same endearing traits may bring down Shuuhei's defenses. Still...Yumichika thought of Renji's wild ponytail and plain white bandana and shuddered. Ugh.

"Alright, I guess I'll go," Shuuhei said finally, rubbing his face. "I'll meet you guys at your barracks in say, an hour?"

Yumichika smiled. "That sounds perfect."

* * *

**To be continued...**


	4. Chapter 4

**Yes, it's Yumi, if you're still wondering. :)**

* * *

When Shuuhei finally arrived at the front entrance of the 11th division barracks, he was surprised to find Yumichika standing next to the gate alone. The 5th seat was standing with his back straight, face turned away from Shuuhei, delicate hands posed perfectly by his sides, framing his lithe body.

Shuuhei had always thought it was somewhat amusing that Yumichika belonged in the 11th division, simply because the man didn't _belong_ there. He didn't want to be so mean as to think of the man as effeminate, but Yumichika truly was a unique character. Shuuhei had never seen anyone so obsessed with appearance before; he still remembered the racket Yumichika had caused when someone accidentally set off an explosive _kido_ spell near him. The debri from the blast nicked the man's cheek, and from his reaction you would think that he was dying a horrible death, but in truth he was just devastated by the possibility that the injury would leave a scar. Shuuhei thought it was absolutely hilarious.

Yumichika turned around just as Shuuhei was going to call out to him. "Ah, Hisagi-san, punctual as always!" he said with a big smile, showing his perfectly straight, white teeth.

Shuuhei returned a quick greeting, then poked his head inside the gate, searching for the bald man. "Madarame is late?"

"Actually, he can't make it," Yumichika said, sounding apologetic. "Too engrossed with mentoring a bunch of newbies." That was a blatant lie; he never intended to invite his best friend. But at least the second part was true, Ikkaku _was_ busy sparring.

Shuuhei simply shrugged. "Guess it's just us, then," he said, sticking his hands into his pockets. "Shall we?"

The two friends walked, chatting casually about the recent happenings in the Gotei 13. Yumichika told Shuuhei about the fights in the 11th division. "Such brutes," he said, the disdain in his voice evident. "There is just no elegance whatsoever in their movements."

Shuuhei smiled. There he was again; everything was about grace, elegance, beauty. But Shuuhei had to admit, Yumichika's fighting style was definitely several notches higher in quality than all of the members in the 11th division. He had seen it first-hand when he fought against the man right before Kuchiki Rukia's supposed-execution. It had caught him completely off-guard, and if Yumichika had not been merciful and in a hurry, the damage could have cost Shuuhei several months at the 4th squad infirmary.

To his surprise, Shuuhei found Yumichika to be a pleasant companion over lunch. He had initially been a little dismayed that Ikkaku couldn't join them, because he had never really spent time with Yumichika alone. Given that their last close interaction was their rooftop battle, he had expected some level of awkwardness between them. But his worry had been unnecessary. Yumichika was an excellent listener, and had a quirky sense of humor that left Shuuhei in stitches more than once. The man's laughter was infectious; it was not the deep, boisterous laughter like Renji's, nor the booming, almost-maniacal laughter like Ikkaku's. His was...a little shrill, higher-pitched than what Shuuhei was used to, but had an endearing gigglish, care-free quality in it.

Even more surprising was how Yumichika seemed completely unfazed by the pressure of the upcoming war; there was not a single trace of worry on his face when Shuuhei mentioned it. He felt some of the tension in his muscles diminish as he listened to Yumichika's complaints about how he always had to alter their standard-issue shihakusho to fit his orange collar-like garment over it. It was odd to be talking about such frivolous things under the current circumstances, but Shuuhei found it refreshing. It was nice to be able to set aside ominous thoughts for a change, even if it was only for a moment.

* * *

As the moon peeked shyly from behind the clouds, the soft light lent a glow to the smooth, pale cheek of the man sitting alone in his bed. He ran his fingers slowly over the top of a silver flask in his lap. Shuuhei's lips had touched it, and now he couldn't stop staring at the silver container. He couldn't bring himself to wash it, at least not yet.

He felt proud that he was able to make Shuuhei feel at ease during lunch, but at the same time he felt a stab of annoyance. That _name_ kept creeping into their conversation, it seemed like Shuuhei couldn't talk about a topic without somehow dragging Renji into it. He had even asked Yumichika if he could have another flask of his homemade hangover remedy so that he could keep it for the redhead!

For a split second, as Yumichika said yes, the thought of poisoning the potion crossed his mind. But no, he had not sunk that low, not yet. He wanted to prove to himself that he could win Shuuhei's heart by himself. He had, in desperation, entertained the thought of giving Shuuhei some kind of..."medication" that would "encourage" the man to bed him, but had dismissed the idea because the end result would be purely physical. He didn't want that; manipulating the man like that was dirty. Although he craved Shuuhei's touch, he didn't want it like _that_.

Leaning back against the headboard, Yumichika closed his eyes and pictured what he _really_ wanted. He wanted Shuuhei to hold him, to whisper loving words in his ears as Shuuhei took him. He wanted to feel Shuuhei's warmth and hardness inside of him, he wanted to hear Shuuhei cry out in pleasure, and oh, how he longed to wrap his legs around Shuuhei's waist, to press the man against his hips! He would give anything to be able feel Shuuhei's bare chest against his own, to have those beautiful lips on his, and he would gladly give up a hundred years of his life to have Shuuhei trembling in his arms as the man came deep within him.

What that thought in mind, Yumichika arched his back and cried out softly, spilling his pent-up need into his hand.

But most of all, he wanted Shuuhei to desire him for who he was.

* * *

It was Kira who noticed that Shuuhei seemed to smile more recently.

Before this, he had observed a pattern where his best friend would wilt whenever Renji was gone for long periods of time. Of course it wasn't that Shuuhei was so weak and needy that he showed such obvious signs, it was just that Kira had known him for so long, and knew him so well, that he could sense even the slightest changes.

So, he was surprised when the pattern broke. Renji had been in Karakura for weeks now, and Shuuhei was still his old self. Kira could see the wistful look in his friend's eyes whenever they walked past the 6th division barracks together, but otherwise Shuuhei seemed...happy. Kira felt disgusted with himself for feeling surprised that his friend was happy, but he couldn't help feeling like he was missing something. But missing what, Kira hadn't the slightest clue.

* * *

Yumichika was happy.

It had been at least three weeks since he last sensed the fierce, heartbreaking flare in Shuuhei's _reiatsu_ that accompanied the lonely ritual he so often resorted to when Renji was away. It used to never stop until the next time the redhead came back, so Yumichika took it as a good sign. Of course, this didn't mean that he had gotten anywhere, in fact he didn't even know if this had anything to do with him at all, but it was a start.

At the very least, this meant he had more peaceful nights. He did not miss the times when he had to cower in bed and cry himself to sleep. Nor did he miss the times when he would bring himself to completion, aroused by the need in Shuuhei's _reiatsu_, only to break down in tears afterwards.

Yumichika was content, for now, that Shuuhei no longer hesitated when he dropped by to invite the man for lunch. He could feel that Shuuhei had begun to feel more comfortable around him, especially when they're alone, and that the man had begun to see him as a confidant.

Of course, he still felt sick to the stomach whenever he thought of how he could have done all this before Renji got into the picture. But, this was a start.

Then, the news arrived.

* * *

**To be continued...**


	5. Chapter 5

**Sorry for the long cliffhanger, meant to post this last night but just couldn't get the words right. :)**

* * *

The messenger had been frantic when he appeared in front of Yamamoto-soutaicho. It took a combination of stern threats from the Soutaicho and gentle coaxing from Ukitake-taicho before the man calmed down enough to present his report in a coherent manner.

There had been an attack.

It was no surprise that an attack happened in Karakura. Ever since the first incident where Shuuhei was heavily injured, there had been numerous accounts of similar attacks in the area, each time involving hollows of varying levels of power. This one involved a relatively weak one, but unfortunately, its attack began right in the middle of town during peak hour.

Ukitake-taicho's face fell in dismay when he heard that. "Any casualties?"

"No, taicho," the messenger said, still recovering from panic. "A...Abarai-fukutaicho lured it away."

* * *

Half an hour later, Renji emerged from the Senkai gate, _shihakusho_ ripped and bloodied. A dozen or so injuries riddled his body, but he insisted on presenting his incident report before being forcibly dragged over to the infirmary.

"I'm perfectly fine," he complained repeatedly as the healers tended to him.

Shuuhei had his arms crossed tightly over his chest, lips tight with worry. "Just shut up and let them check your injuries, will you?" he said in exasperation.

Renji opened his mouth to protest, but ended up yelping in pain when one of the healers wrapped a bandage around his torso. When Shuuhei raised an eyebrow in a silent "what did I tell you?". The redhead grinned sheepishly and remained quiet for the rest of the treatment.

"You're such an idiot," Shuuhei scolded once they stepped out of the 4th division gates. "What were you thinking, using yourself as bait like that?"

Renji gave Shuuhei his usual lopsided grin. "To be honest, I didn't really have time to think at the time," he said, scratching the back of his head.

"Damn it, Renji," Shuuhei huffed with a frown. "With that attitude of yours, one of these days you're going to get yourself killed."

"Aww come on." Renji hooked an arm over Shuuhei's shoulders, ignoring the dark look the man was giving him. "Look at me, I'm perfectly fine!"

Shuuhei grumbled under his breath, but couldn't help pulling the redhead closer. It was times like this that reminded him how precariously close to danger Renji was, being at the front lines. He had been lucky today, but who was to say he would be as lucky the next time around?

Knowing that Renji's room would be a little musty and probably very dusty in his absence, they chose to to go to Shuuhei's quarters at the 9th division instead. As soon as they closed the door, the redhead immediately collapsed onto Shuuhei's bed.

"I'm so fucking tired," he groaned.

"Oi, at least get out of your dirty clothes," Shuuhei said, poking the redhead in the ribs. Too late, he remembered that Renji had bandages there. "Oops! Sorry!"

Renji looked at him accusingly as he massaged his sore body. "I know you want to see me naked, but did you have to hurt me like that?" he said in mock annoyance.

Shuuhei snorted. "Don't be an idiot," he said as he helped Renji out of his tattered robes. "You're not doing anything but sleep tonight. Or did you already forget that you had almost twenty cuts and bruises on you?"

"Ugh..." Renji complained, standing up briefly to kick off his hakama. Finally bare, he slipped back under the covers and sank his head into the pillows. He let out a loud, contented sigh. When he realized that Shuuhei had walked away from the bed, he called out,"You're not joining me?"

Shuuhei's voice was muffled as he threw Renji's ruined clothes into the trashcan near the kitchen. "Just rest, I'm going to get something to clean you up a bit."

Renji's eyes were already half-closed by then, his murmured reply inaudible. It was only when he felt dampness on his face that he realized that he had fallen asleep. He glanced up to see a serious-faced Shuuhei wiping his forehead with a piece of cloth; the man was so focused on the task that he didn't even notice that Renji had opened his eyes. For a moment Renji lay there in silence, quietly admiring the outlines of Shuuhei's features, his strong jaw, the determined mouth...when Renji's eyes settled on Shuuhei's lips, he felt a rush of passion, and, without warning, reached up to grab Shuuhei's collar and pulled.

"Hey—" Shuuhei struggled instinctively, eyes wide with surprise at the sudden movement. "What the—" The rest of his words was drowned, lost in the possessive embrace of Renji's lips.

When Renji finally broke the kiss, Shuuhei licked his lips and frowned. "What do you think you're doing? You need to rest."

"What if I say I don't want to?" Renji asked in his husky bed-voice, refusing to let go of Shuuhei collar.

"Come on," Shuuhei said, pulling Renji's hand away. "Don't be stupid. Let go."

"No," came the stubborn reply.

Shuuhei tightened his grip on Renji's hand and tugged. "Let go of me." God, the idiot could be so annoying sometimes...

"_Bakudo #4, Hainawa._" The murmured spell caught Shuuhei by surprise, and before he could dodge, he found his arms bound in front of him, a glowing yellow rope wrapped tightly over his wrists and part of his forearms. He struggled, grunting angrily as his arms rubbed against each other. It was useless; unless he wanted to ruin his bed or blast a hole in his walls, he was stuck.

"Fuck, Renji," Shuuhei growled between his teeth. "What the fuck's wrong with you? Let me go!"

The hand on his collar pulled again, and Shuuhei found himself stumbling onto the bed, right into Renji's waiting embrace. Frustrated, he twisted his body. He _could_ easily escape, but he didn't want to aggravate Renji's wounds. "Lemme go!" he grunted, glaring at Renji.

Ignoring Shuuhei's sharp protests, Renji flipped them over and pinned the dark-haired man beneath him. "No," he said with his trademark mischievous smirk on his face. Not bothering to wait for a response, he dove down and pressed his lips on Shuuhei's.

Shuuhei gave a few muffled grunts, then, fell limp under Renji's weight. When he felt the familiar sensation of Renji's exploring tongue, he caved and parted his lips. His groans of protest turned into soft moans as the redhead reached up to cup his cheek lightly. He couldn't help it, couldn't deny it—he _had_ missed this dearly. As the kiss deepened, the last of his defenses melted away, and he subconsciously arched into Renji's embrace, pressing himself closer against his lover's bare chest.

Just as Shuuhei began to feel dizzy from the lack of oxygen, Renji pulled away and rested his forehead on Shuuhei's. The redhead muttered something under his breath.

"What?" Shuuhei murmured, breathing heavily.

"I said...I love you."

* * *

Yumichika sat on the edge of his bed, staring numbly into space. His chest heaved; despair, horror, anger, sadness...he had never felt such a tirade of emotions at the same time, each of them fighting to dominate his mind. Tears had spilled on their own accord, even his precious feathers had dropped off, but he was too broken to care. He was oblivious of his own quivering lips, the quiet sobs that accompanied each breath, the trembling of his shoulders...he had completely lost the ability to think.

Earlier, when he felt the first wave of that dreaded combination of _reiatsu_ emanating from the 9th division, his legs had given out. He had been in the kitchen drying a cup when it hit him, and his hand fell slack. The cup slipped from his hold and shattered on the floor, brutally cutting the soles of his feet as he somehow managed to get back on his feet and drag himself to his bedroom. He wasn't aware of the blood that created a crimson trail on the floor as he walked, stumbling and crashing into furniture along the way. He felt no pain.

All the love that he had poured into his efforts in the past weeks was shattered, just like that. Shuuhei had not even bothered to tell him that Renji was back. Truth be told, he wasn't all that surprised. The man probably didn't think of him at all when he rushed to the infirmary. And why should he? Yumichika was just a friend, a platonic replacement of sorts for the confidant that Shuuhei needed, a convenient outlet for his work frustrations who just happened to be within his reach.

Anger suddenly washed over him. It wasn't fair. Renji hadn't been here for Shuuhei, not the way _he_ had. Renji wasn't here to listen to Shuuhei when the man needed an audience for his worries, Renji wasn't here to make Shuuhei smile. He simply...wasn't here!

Yumichika clenched his fists without even consciously meaning to. It. Just. Wasn't. Fair.

He stood.

* * *

**Alright, I'm naughty, here's yet another cliffhanger. ;) **


	6. Chapter 6

**Okay, Nila101, I'm posting this one up early just for you! :) **

* * *

The silence of the night was so absolute that he was certain he would wake everyone in Seireitei with the thunderous sound of his heartbeat. It pounded in his ears as he slunk around corners and flash-stepped across streets. His chest was ablaze from the lack of air as he breathed shallowly in an attempt to be as quiet as he could. Technically he could use the excuse of a "night stroll" if he were to run into anyone on the way, but once he stepped across the threshold of the 9th division entrance, that excuse would be useless.

Yumichika found his destination with ease. Even if he hadn't already memorized the location of Shuuhei's quarters, the powerful _reiatsu_ from the two vice captains in the throes of passion would guide him there. His skin crawled with each increasing rush of passion so shamelessly apparent in their spiritual pressure. It was _disgusting_. Yet, fanned by morbid curiosity and the intense urge for self destruction, he pressed forward towards Shuuhei's room even as he clearly knew that he did not want to see the man making love to the red-haired lowlife.

He moved, silent as a phantom, and pressed himself against the wall. Carefully raising his head, he peered into the window. He immediately wished that he had stayed home.

There, on the bed, Shuuhei was pinned to bed on his back. His arms were raised above his head, bound together by what Yumichika recognized to be the spiritual rope from the _Hainawa_ _kido_ spell. As the owner of a _kido_-type zanpakutou, he saw instantly that the binding was weak, so weak that Shuuhei should've been able to break them easily. Yet there he was, lying on his back, on the receiving end of a series unbelievably brutal thrusts. Yumichika's heart clenched—whether in pain or anger, he didn't know—every time Renji sheathed himself completely in his lover. Perhaps that was what they thought of as passion, but to Yumichika, it was simply rape.

Yumichika heard every cry from Shuuhei's lips; some sounded suspiciously like sobs, others like brazenly lustful moans. This was not the type of sex that Yumichika imagined or knew of. Lovemaking, to him, was supposed to be gentle, sensual, accompanied by whispered promises of love and protection. Of course there would be passion, conveyed in the form of intense eye contact and deep kisses. Not _this_—this was just...obscene. Instead of loving murmurs, he heard only low growls. Instead of soft moans of pleasure, he heard strangled cries and choked sobs. This was all foreign to him, so..._wrong_, and it looked downright painful for Shuuhei.

What Yumichika could not accept was the pleading look on Shuuhei's face; the man seemed to welcome every savage thrust, encouraging the merciless attacks on his body. To Yumichika, there should not be any trace of violence in sex, but what he was seeing now _reeked_ of it. He could only think of this as blatant violation of Shuuhei's body. And the man looked so _helpless_, his body being jerked around like a rag doll, crushed beneath the larger man.

The look of pure pleasure on Renji's face made Yumichika nauseous. How could anyone do _this_ to the person he supposedly loved? Where was the gentle caress? Where were the sweet kisses?

An especially loud cry from Shuuhei made him press his face closer to the window. As he watched, Renji tightened his grip on Shuuhei's hips and tugged the man roughly towards himself. Eyes tightly shut and jaw clenched, the redhead spread Shuuhei's legs further apart and increased his pace. The sound of sweat-slicked flesh on flesh sickened Yumichika. This was so _crude_. He would've rushed in to rescue Shuuhei if not for the wild look of raw desire in the man's heavy-lidded eyes. _This_ was what he couldn't understand; how could Shuuhei enjoy this? Was this how they always did it?

He wanted badly to rip his eyes away from the scene, but his traitorous body remained rooted. He could only watch, and with each snap of Renji's hips, he felt himself wilt a little. He felt sick to the stomach, and it only got worse as Shuuhei began to scream his lover's name.

With a grunt, Renji suddenly collapsed forward. His hands went from Shuuhei's hips to his bound hands, gripping them so tightly that Yumichika saw Shuuhei's skin turn red. His eyes travelled down to Shuuhei's hips; it looked like bruises had begun to form. He was horrified. His eyes went back to Renji's body; the man was trembling against Shuuhei's body, calling Shuuhei's name in deep, hoarse whispers. Yumichika supposed that this meant Renji had reached his climax.

With a choked cry, Shuuhei wrapped his legs around Renji's waist and pulled the man deeper into him. Yumichika closed his eyes. Even without seeing this, he could recognize the familiar flare of Shuuhei's _reiatsu_ that signaled his completion.

Then, it was over. The ragged pants from the room gradually ceased, and in their place were muffled murmurs and—Yumichika couldn't believe this—soft chuckles. They were _laughing!_ How could—

He decided he couldn't take it anymore. With one last look of disbelief at the window, he left.

* * *

Renji left before dawn. Some of his cuts had reopened during last night's vigorous lovemaking, but Shuuhei wasn't able to persuade him to get them patched up at the infirmary. Shuuhei looked on in silence, a small smile on his lips, as the stubborn redhead shrugged on his uniform, admiring the sharp outline of the man's shoulder blades, the smooth V shape of his toned torso, the rippling of his back muscles...everything about the man was perfect.

Last night had been amazing. He hadn't expected the thrill he'd felt when he was taken with his hands bound. The predatory look in Renji's eyes as he lay there, immobile, had sent a chill through his body unlike anything he had ever felt before. Shuuhei could be rough himself when he was in the mood, but nobody could pull off _wild_ the way Renji could, and just the thought of being at the mercy of the man when he was in that mood was enough to drive Shuuhei into a frenzy.

When lunchtime rolled by and Yumichika did not show up, Shuuhei was surprised. Over the past month or so, he had gotten used to the routine of having lunch with the man. He wondered why they'd never gotten close over the past few decades, because now that he knew more about Yumichika, he realized that, in truth, the man wasn't the shallow narcissist that everyone took him for. Vain as he may be, Yumichika was someone who would go to any length to protect those close to him. Under the exaggerated flamboyance was a man more loyal and insightful than most people Shuuhei knew. It was a pity it took them so long to forge a stronger friendship, but Shuuhei supposed it was better than never.

The man was probably busy with his division, Shuuhei thought. So, even though it did cross his mind, he did not go to the 11th division to look for Yumichika. They'd never had a formal agreement to have lunch together every day after all, so Shuuhei just shrugged it off as a one-time deviation of their schedule. It was Friday, so they would meet at their regular dinner gathering anyway.

With that in mind, Shuuhei stayed in his office and skipped lunch altogether.

* * *

Yumichika hadn't really expected Shuuhei to show up, but somewhere deep in the back of his mind, he held a tiny sliver of hope that perhaps Shuuhei would care enough to come check on him if he failed to appear at Shuuhei's office during lunchtime. When lunchtime came and went, the last pieces of Yumichika's heart crumbled. Unblinking, he simply sat at the steps in front of the sparring hall and stared into the vast compound of the 11th division, ignoring the squad members who greeted him as they passed by.

Soon, even the sun left him alone. As the chorus of cicadas began, Yumichika finally got onto his feet. Hungry and slightly dehydrated, he staggered back to his room and collapsed on his bed.

As his friends celebrated the end of the week with sake and good food, Yumichika cried alone.

* * *

**There, no cliffhanger, just a very sad Yumi. *sniff* To be continued...**


	7. Chapter 7

**Thank you, everyone who's following the story. :) You guys are the best!**

* * *

Shuuhei stood in front of the plain brown door and knocked. "Ayasegawa-san?" he called. "This is Hisagi. Are you in there?"

There was absolute silence.

Scratching the back of his head, Shuuhei backed away from the door. Should he knock louder? Yumichika could be asleep after all, he didn't know if it was a good idea to wake the man up, but...he couldn't help getting this ominous feeling when Yumichika didn't turn up for the dinner. First he didn't show up for lunch, and now dinner, too. Something wasn't right, Shuuhei could feel it.

"Ayasegawa-san?" he called again, then, after a brief hesitation, banged his fist on the door.

This time, there was the unmistakable sound of footsteps—very soft, unsteady, but footsteps nonetheless. Then came the rattling sound of the door being unlocked, and the door swung open.

"Ayasegawa-san!" Shuuhei gasped, shocked at the disheveled appearance of the man in front of him. It was unbelievable—Ayasegawa Yumichika, the prettiest, vainest _shinigami_ in the whole of Soul Society, stood there in the doorway, his _shihakusho_ rumpled and crooked, jet-black hair damp and hanging limply over his eyes. The orange collar-like garment that he usually wore was nowhere to be seen, baring his pale chest that was usually hidden underneath. Even more disturbing was the redness in his slightly swollen eyes.

"Hisagi-san," Yumichika said, sounding a little surprised.

It took Shuuhei a few more seconds to realize that he had been staring blankly at his friend. "What happened?"

Yumichika shrugged. "Nothing," he said cooly.

Shuuhei couldn't help getting a chill from Yumichika's odd attitude. "Are you alright? I, uh, didn't see you at lunch, then you missed dinner. I thought...I thought maybe I'd drop by and check on you, see if you're okay."

Yumichika gave another nonchalant shrug. "I'm fine," he insisted, stepping aside to let Shuuhei look into his room. "See? I was just taking a nap. Everything's fine."

"Huh," Shuuhei muttered under his breath. He poked his head into the room; it was neat and beautifully decorated, as was expected from his perfectionist friend. "Do you mind if I come in?" he asked. Everything _looked_ normal enough, but the alarm bells in his head refused to be silenced.

"Go ahead," Yumichika said, opening the door wider. Shuuhei stepped past the man and walked deeper into the room. Now that he was further from the door, he suddenly realized that the room was eerily dim. Well, he supposed it made sense, since Yumichika said he'd been sleeping.

Shuuhei turned around and smiled at his friend. "It looks nice in here."

The expected smile of pride did not appear. Instead, Yumichika simply shrugged—again—and walked towards the kitchen. "Tea?" he said in a flat monotone that made his sentence sound more like a statement than a question.

"Yeah, sure," Shuuhei replied, sticking his hands into his pocket. It was an old habit of his; whenever he felt tense, he would place his hands into his pocket and clench his fists. He felt the reassuring weight of Kazeshini resting against his hip, and began to look around the room. Why...why did he still feel like something was off?

Minutes went by, and Shuuhei wondered if Yumichika had somehow fallen asleep in the kitchen. "Ayasegawa-san?" he called, walking deeper into his friend's quarters. "Are you—" His words died in his throat when he saw a brownish stain on the ground a few feet away from where he stood. At the sight, the warning bells in his mind went up another notch.

Crouching down next to the stain—now that he noticed it, it was more of a _trail_ of stains, Shuuhei ran his fingers over the soiled area of the floor. His pulse raced when his finger came away with bits of maroon-colored crust. He brought his hand to his nose and immediately recognized the coppery tang that could only belong to one thing: blood. Alarmed now, he began to stand up.

"Ayasega—"

* * *

Standing above the crumpled form on the floor, Yumichika trembled, still cluthing the hilt of his zanpakutou in his hand. His breathing was labored, erratic, and, just as he thought he had run out of them, fresh tears began to stream down his already tear-streaked face. Judging by the force he had applied when he knocked Shuuhei out with the hilt of his sword, he figured the man would not be awake for another twenty, perhaps thirty minutes.

How _dare_ he? Yumichika's lips quivered. How dare Shuuhei come waltzing in like nothing was wrong, talking as if he actually _cared_ for Yumichika? It was bad enough that Shuuhei didn't feel the same way about him, but the man just had to rub it into his face by giving Yumichika the false impression that he _actually cared_. It was downright cruel. Yumichika's chest heaved as he struggled to force down the flood of emotions welling up inside of him. Just as he'd decided to accept his fate, Shuuhei had to come in and light that little flame of hope in him again. How _dare_ he!

He didn't really understand the reason behind his sudden urge to attack Shuuhei. Perhaps he had been pushed past his limit, or perhaps he didn't want to hear the man talk to him like everything was okay...or perhaps, he just wanted to see the man defenseless and within his control for once. There were many possible reasons, but whatever it was, he'd done it; there was no going back. He didn't want to think about what would happen once Shuuhei woke up, for the moment, he just didn't want to think at all.

Yumichika went down on his knees and bent over Shuuhei. His hit had been well-placed; there was no bleeding, Shuuhei was probably out before he even felt the pain at the back of his head. He reached out and gently rolled the man over. Shuuhei fell limply onto his back, his eyes shut and mouth slightly slack. Yumichika sat down on his heels and stared. Even unconscious, Shuuhei looked perfect; his dark lashes rested on his cheeks, his nose straight and high, his lips were smooth and moist. His lips...those were Yumichika's favorite. In his dreams and darkest fantasies, he was always obsessed about those lips. They tasted like heaven, and they would say the sweetest words.

Then, he frowned. Shuuhei's harsh cries and shamelessly lustful moans from the other night rushed back into his mind. No, Yumichika tried to block the thought, no, no, no, _no, no!_ For a few seconds he sat there with his hands tightly clasped over his temples, willing those hateful thoughts from his head. Then, as quickly as they appeared, the thoughts went away, leaving him whimpering.

When he finally calmed down, Yumichika took away Shuuhei's zanpakutou. He didn't want the man armed when he came around. He brushed his fingers along Shuuhei's cheek; it was smooth, flawless except the his tattoos that Yumichika loved so much. It felt exactly like Yumichika imagined. He ran his thumb over Shuuhei's lower lip and shuddered. He would really, really love those lips on him...

With sudden determination, he pulled Shuuhei along the floor and set him against one wall. The unconscious man's head slumped forward onto his chest, and Yumichika held his chin and tilted his head up. At the same time, his other hand went to Shuuhei's chest, feeling the steady rise and fall as the man breathed evenly. Yumichika's heart ached; why couldn't he reach Shuuhei's heart when Renji could? Subconsciously, his hand moved to the spot above Shuuhei's heart. He could feel it, the strong beating of the man's heart. Oh, the things he would do to be able to have a space there!

More tears flowed.

* * *

Bricks. That was the first thought in Shuuhei's mind when he woke up groggily. He must have been hit by a ton of bricks. With a groan, he cracked open his eyes. Odd, he was on his feet, propped against a...wall, he supposed. Where was he?

Then, everything came rushing back. Yumichika! That was he realized that his arms were immobile; he was bound, held by some thick, rope-like _thing_ around his biceps.

"Ayasegawa-san!" he called hoarsely. Somebody must've attacked Yumichika when he was in the kitchen, then got to Shuuhei while he was focused on the blood on the floor. Yumichika was strong, if he had gone down without a sound, this intruder must be powerful. Shit, he needed to make sure if his friend was alright—

Shuuhei felt a shadow loom over him and he blinked, still trying to clear his head. With the light coming from behind the person in front of him, Shuuhei could only make out a silhouette. It was...a man, he supposed, although it was hard to tell just from the hair. The intruder's shoulders were not very broad, in fact, the man was quite skinny.

"Who are you?" Shuuhei asked, squinting to try to get a better look at the man.

The intruder stepped closer, and Shuuhei gasped.

"Ayasegawa...san..." his voice trailed off into a confused whisper. What was this, some kind of joke?

Yumichika simply looked at him silently. After a long stretch, the man cocked his head to the side. "You like this, don't you?"

Shuuhei blinked, feeling even more confused. "What?"

"Being tied up, helpless," Yumichika said in a monotone. "Weak, at someone else's mercy."

"What? I don't..." Shuuhei began, but his voice suddenly turned into a pained grunt when he felt a strong grip on his private part. He looked up, eyes wide, and stared into a pair of glassy, wild purple eyes.

Yumichika's fist tightened.

Shuuhei's head snapped back into the wall, leaving him dazed and breathless. "What the _fuck!_"

"You like it when it hurts," Yumichika said, again in that same eerily calm monotone, as if he was reading something out of a book.

"What the hell is your problem?" Shuuhei gasped, bending over from the pain that shot up his spine. His legs felt like they would have buckle under his weight if he had not been held up by the ropes.

Yumichika's eyes narrowed. "You like it," he repeated.

"No I fucking don't!" Shuuhei said, straightening up indignantly.

"You do," Yumichika said insistently. His fists tightened again.

Shuuhei cried out as another sharp burst of pain shot through his body. When he was able to breathe again, he took in shaky gulps of air and looked up.

"You like it when he fucks you like this," Yumichika went on, ignoring the glare from Shuuhei. "You like it when he hurts you, when he rapes you." Then he sighed.

"What?" Now Shuuhei was thoroughly confused. What was this about? It could only mean that Yumichika had seen... "I'm not sure what you saw exactly, but I assure that he wasn't hurting me."

"Does it feel good?" Yumichika asked, oblivious to Shuuhei's response. "Does it feel good when he..." He seemed to struggle to find the right words. "...when he...pounds into you so hard? Doesn't it hurt?"

Shuuhei looked at his friend in exasperation and disbelief. "It was just rough sex, what were you thinking?"

Yumichika cocked his head to the side again, as if pondering Shuuhei's answer. "Rough sex," he echoed.

Shuuhei stared at his friend. It was difficult to believe that this was the same man he had gotten close to over the past weeks. "Why are you doing this?" he asked. Finally, the pain was beginning to taper off to a bearable level.

"I wonder if you'll like it just as much when you do it with me," Yumichika said simply, sounding like Shuuhei had asked a stupid question.

"What?" Shuuhei gaped at his friend. Surely this was a nightmare. "I don't understand. Why are you—"

Yumichika grabbed Shuuhei's collar and yanked the man towards him. Shuuhei's arms strained against the ropes, and he groaned in pain. Before Shuuhei could say anything else, Yumichika leaned in and pressed his lips on Shuuhei's.

Shuuhei's eyes widened, then he clamped his mouth shut and struggled, twisting his head side to side to pull away from Yumichika's sudden assault. Somewhere during his frantic movements, he lashed out with his leg and felt it connect, hard, with Yumichika's shin. The man broke the kiss and doubled over, hissing in pain.

"Let me go!" Shuuhei yelled, legs flailing. He tried to yank himself free from the restraints but they were simply too tight, and he could feel his skin burn from the friction. Somehow, even though he knew what he was saying was useless in this situation, he couldn't help repeating those three words.

The only warning he got was a flash of movement out of the corner of his eye, then his head snapped to the side, and his vision blurred, accompanied by a burst of pain. Ears ringing, he turned around. The man he found standing in front of him was unrecognizable; Yumichika was panting, more in anger than in exertion, his hand clenched in a tight fist. The knuckles were red, and Shuuhei realized that he had just been punched in the face. He shook his head slowly to clear his mind, but only managed to get himself even dizzier. Then, something hit his legs.

Shuuhei looked down. Two thick ropes, identical to the ones around his arms, wrapped around his legs, gripping them so tightly that he couldn't help groaning out loud in pain. His eyes followed the rope, which extended from his legs all the way to...

Yumichika's zanpakutou.

With sudden clarity, Shuuhei remembered their fight on the roof, and realized that he knew what those "ropes" were. They were _vines_, not ropes—the _real_ _Shikai_ form of Yumichika's zanpakutou, Ruriiro Kujaku. He felt a chill as he recalled their fight...and his eventual defeat. He remembered feeling like he was dying as Ruriiro Kujaku drained him of his _reiatsu_, and he remembered now, the beautiful but deadly flowers that bloomed from the vines as they were fed with their victim's spiritual power. He looked into Yumichika's eyes; the man had stopped his zanpakutou midway through its attack last time, somehow, this time Shuuhei was pretty certain it won't stop.

"Ayasegawa-san, we don't have to go through this," Shuuhei said hoarsely, fighting to keep it steady.

"No, we don't," Yumichika agreed, much to Shuuhei's surprise. "This is just to make sure that you will do what I ask of you."

Shuuhei laughed mirthlessly. "And you're asking me to have sex with you?"

Yumichika shook his head. "No, I'm asking you to have _rough_ sex with me. I want you to enjoy it when you do it with me, just like when you did it with your filthy lover."

_Filthy lover? _Shuuhei blinked in confusion. The venom in Yumichika's voice was clear, but Shuuhei didn't understand what the man had against Renji. They were all friends, Yumichika had always gotten along with them, he was even in the same squad as Renji. What happened?

"You don't know?" Yumichika asked when he saw Shuuhei's expression. "You have a strange way to show your love, and to receive love, Hisagi-san. May I call you Shuuhei?"

Shuuhei glared at him and kept his mouth shut.

And that was perfectly fine to Yumichika. He wasn't really waiting for a response anyway. "You love Abarai, don't you?" he asked.

When Shuuhei didn't respond, Yumichika grabbed Shuuhei again and squeezed. Shuuhei screamed, then with a choked cry, slumped forward, hanging limply from the vines.

"Do you?" Yumichika asked again.

"Yes!" Shuuhei said hoarsely. "Yes, I love him."

"And you show him that you love him by letting him hurt you," Yumichika said.

Shuuhei would've rolled his eyes in exasperation if he were not in so much pain. "I told you, he wasn't hurting me. He never hurts me."

Yumichika ran a finger across Shuuhei's lower lip, which had gone dry. He gently wiped away a tiny smudge of blood from Shuuhei's lip, which had split when Yumichika punched him in the face. Shuuhei stared into his friend's eyes and shuddered at what he saw there—they were lifeless, almost like the man had lost his soul. Yumichika had gotten himself lost in a very deep, dark place.

"I love you, you know," Yumichika said suddenly. "I have, for a long time, for many decades. Before you and Abarai got together."

Shuuhei blinked. What?

"All I'm asking for is that you love _me_," Yumichika continued. His eyes suddenly reddened. "Even if it's just a little."

Now Shuuhei understood; the sudden progress in their friendship, the kind gestures and company while Renji was away. "You..." he whispered. "You...love me?"

Yumichika nodded sadly. "Before _he_ loved you."

Shuuhei closed his eyes and sighed. What was he supposed to say? Apologize? Offer comfort? What could he say or do that could make this any better for his friend?

"I don't know how to make you really love me, Shuuhei," Yumichika said, his lips frighteningly close to Shuuhei's ear. "But at least I can _feel_ as if you do. I want you to hurt me, the way Abarai hurts you. If what Abarai does to you is _love_, then you can love me. And I'll prove that I love you...by letting you hurt me."

Shuuhei's eyes flew open as the implications of those words sank in. "That's...that's not how it works," he said, breathing heavily, partly from lingering pain and partly from desperation.

Yumichika's voice was barely audible when it finally came. "Won't you even allow me to believe it? It's all I have. It's the only way I can think of to feel your love."

What Yumichika said was filled with so much anguish that Shuuhei felt his chest clench. It was so terribly sad, so terribly wrong. "Ayasegawa-san..." Shuuhei began.

"Yumi," Yumichika said. His hands went to Shuuhei's _obi_ and began to loosen the knot. "I want to hear you call me Yumi as you love me."

"That's not love!" Shuuhei cried hoarsely, twisting his body in a desperate attempt to escape from Yumichika's fingers. "This is not love, and you know it."

Yumichika flicked his wrist, and Shuuhei suddenly fell to the ground. He struggled to get up, thinking that this was a good opportunity to run, but he only managed to lift his body up briefly from the floor before the vines tightened on his limbs again, pinning him in a sitting position against the wall and floor.

"I can believe that it is," Yumichika said calmly, as if nothing had happened.

With a few more deft tugs, Shuuhei's hakama was pulled down to his thighs. Yumichika stared at Shuuhei's groin, then he reached out and touched the soft organ. When Shuuhei felt the cold fingers on his flesh, he flinched. Yumichika's fingers stroked and brushed along Shuuhei's length, sometimes slow, other times faster. As Yumichika gently massaged the head, Shuuhei felt his own body begin to respond.

No, no, _no!_ Shuuhei screamed in his head, willing his body to stop. He didn't want to do this, didn't want to hurt his friend more than he already had. But it was useless; the more he struggled, the harder Yumichika stroked him, and he couldn't help it, he couldn't stop it—his body simply reacted to the physical stimulus like it was biologically wired to do.

"Please love me."

* * *

**Not really a cliffhanger, is it? I've never written anything this dark before, and the real stuff hasn't even started yet. Sit tight, everyone, it's going to be a scary ride.**


	8. Chapter 8

**This is it, folks! I present to you, the ending of Dangerous Intentions. **

* * *

"_Please love me."_

Yumichika's words were like a physical force; they latched onto Shuuhei's heart and twisted it, threatening to crush it, and there was nothing he could do about it.

"I can't, not like this," Shuuhei panted, struggling to get his body under control. It was a losing battle, and he knew it.

"Please." Yumichika's voice was shockingly calm, detached.

"Not like this," Shuuhei repeated, then he voice trailed off into an involuntary moan. No, _no_, not his mouth, no... Desperate, he threw his head back and banged it against the wall to distract himself from Yumichika's very skillful tongue. Bursts of pain made his vision go dark, but it didn't work, his body was completely under Yumichika's control.

Shuuhei gasped in relief when Yumichika suddenly released him. He tried to tell himself that this was over, but he knew it wasn't, Yumichika's eyes told him as much. The man held Shuuhei's gaze, then without a word, began to undress.

"Love me," Yumichika said, flinging his robes to the side. A single tear leaked from the corner of one eye, and Shuuhei followed its trail down his friend's cheek. "Just this once."

"This is not love," Shuuhei said. He needed to do something, _anything_. He could see that Yumichika was on a determined path to self destruction, and he refused to let his friend hurt himself. He owed it to Yumichika. But one look at his friend's face told him that it was too late.

As Shuuhei watched on in horror, Yumichika climbed into his lap and straddled his hips. The man began to stroke him again, bringing him to full erection, then, he raised his body and hovered over Shuuhei.

"No no no no..." Shuuhei begged, bucking his hips in a desperate effort to shake his friend off. But with his limbs rendered immobile, coupled with Yumichika's weight, he could not get enough leverage to raise his hips more than a few inches off the floor. So all he could do was twist his body and struggle. "Stop, stop, sto—"

Yumichika slammed himself down, taking all of Shuuhei in a single stroke.

"_No!_" Shuuhei screamed.

But it was too late. Yumichika's pained cry echoed off the walls in the small room. It was a sound torn from the depths of his throat, filled with anguish and sheer, heart-wrenching agony.

Yumichika's mind reeled as searing pain shot up his spine. After his first cry, his body went rigid and his throat tightened, silencing any sound that was to follow. Then, after a few seconds, as if someone abruptly let go of his windpipe, he let out a loud gasp of pain and toppled over onto Shuuhei's chest.

Shuuhei grunted as his breath was knocked out of him as Yumichika landed on him. "Oh shit, oh shit," he whispered. "Ayasegawa-san, Ayasegawa-san!" Without the use of his arms, he could only stare helplessly at the body lying prone against his chest. Yumichika lay still, face turned to the side, hands limp on Shuuhei's sides. He was certain that Yumichika had passed out, but then he began to feel light trembling against his body and realized that his friend was conscious. And crying.

"Ayasegawa-san," Shuuhei called softly despite the loud hammering of his heart. The dry friction had been extremely uncomfortable to him, even bordering on pain—he could only guess what it did to Yumichika. "Get up, please..."

For the longest moment, Yumichika was silent except for his quiet sobbing. Then, he looked up into Shuuhei's eyes and whispered in a broken voice, "I love you."

Shuuhei was going to answer, but before he could say anything, Yumichika abruptly pushed away from him and lifted himself up. With a muffled cry, Yumichika slammed himself down on Shuuhei. And again. And again.

"No! Stop! Stop!" Shuuhei screamed desperately, wriggling his body even though he knew it wouldn't make any difference. "_No!_" Tears welled up and streamed down Shuuhei's face as he continued to scream.

Yumichika didn't stop. Blood trickled down from his mouth where his teeth had broken the skin of his lower lip from his efforts to muffle his own screams. The pain was extreme, mind-numbing, but he found himself welcoming it now, not because it's pleasurable, but because each time he impaled himself, he could feel Shuuhei in him. And even though Shuuhei kept telling him that this wasn't love, it didn't matter to him—he had convinced himself with his own twisted logic that he was showing Shuuhei that _he_ loved him, and that was all that mattered.

Shuuhei's voice had gone hoarse. He felt his stomach turn each time Yumichika's thighs landed on his hip, and just as he thought things couldn't get any worse, he suddenly realized that the friction was no longer dry. "Stop," he croaked. "Please...stop. You're bleeding."

Yumichika made a sound that sounded like a whimper, but he didn't stop.

"Stop!" Shuuhei yelled and bucked his hips vigorously, trying to somehow fling Yumichika off of him. He couldn't let this go on, he had to stop Yumichika from hurting himself—no, he had to stop _hurting_ Yumichika.

"You can't stop me," Yumichika whispered, looking at Shuuhei through heavy-lidded eyes. Then, he reached back behind him.

Shuuhei's eyes widened when Yumichika's hand reappeared, holding Ruriiro Kujaku.

"Oh no...no...no..." Shuuhei murmured in dismay as understanding dawned on him. Then he felt it; it was hardly noticeable at first, but slowly but surely, he began to feel sluggish. He recognized this feeling—it was exactly how it felt like on the rooftop. "No..."

"I'm sorry," Yumichika said, sobbing.

Shuuhei groaned as his shoulders sagged. It wasn't painful, but in a way it was much worse; he knew exactly what was happening but could only lie there helplessly while his life source was literally being drained. "Stop..."

"I'm sorry," Yumichika repeated. He leaned forward and clutched Shuuhei's top, which had not been removed, holding it so tightly that his knuckles turned white. He didn't want to hurt Shuuhei, but why was Shuuhei being so stubborn, why couldn't the man see that he _needed_ this?

"Aya...se..." Shuuhei gasped. His lungs refused to cooperate, he was feeling weaker and weaker with each passing minute, and he couldn't breathe, couldn't struggle anymore.

"Can't you call me Yumi? Just once?" Yumichika asked, tightening his grip on Shuuhei's _shihakusho_. "Just once?" He had stopped moving his hips. Shuuhei was still inside, but he could feel the man beginning to soften as he became weaker. So he stayed still, determined to keep Shuuhei there.

"Yumi..." Shuuhei whispered, eyes sliding close. "Stop..."

Yumichika froze. Finally, finally after so long, he _finally_ heard his pet name from Shuuhei's lips. It sounded so sweet; it didn't matter that it was forced out of Shuuhei, just the fact that it was in Shuuhei's deep voice was enough. The rest of the tears he had been holding back spilled down his face.

"Stop..." Shuuhei's voice was hardly audible now.

Yumichika fell forward and pressed himself against Shuuhei. "I'm sorry, I can't stop," Yumichika whispered in Shuuhei's ear. "It's too late."

Shuuhei meant to ask "what?" but only managed a weak grunt, but Yumichika seemed to understand. "Ruriiro Kujaku has gone past the point where I can stop it. The flowers are almost in full bloom now, can't you see? It's almost done, and once they bloom, everything will be over."

What? In desperation, Shuuhei found a sudden burst of energy to struggle anew. Did Yumichika's _shikai_ have this power last time? He'd never mentioned it! But as he fought against the vines, he found himself wondering...if Yumichika was telling the truth and this was almost over, why did he still have energy left, even if it's just barely? In fact, now that he thought of it, his condition hadn't gotten worse since he called Yumichika by his pet name...he looked around, and his heart sank.

Around Yumichika's forearm, was a vine from his zanpakutou.

"I'm sorry," Yumichika's whispered. He was tired and in pain, he just wanted to sleep, to lie there and sleep with Shuuhei's warmth against his body. It would be a romantic final resting place.

"Yumi, no, no!" Shuuhei cried, twisting his body. "Wake up, get up!" He was frantic; he knew that once the flowers reach full bloom, they would turn all the collected energy onto the victim and deal the final blow. In their condition, neither of them were likely to survive the hit. And Yumichika had covered Shuuhei's body with his own to take the blow for both of them.

Just before Shuuhei fell into unconsciousness, he thought he heard a maniacal battle cry, and he was certain he caught a flash of moment. _That voice..._he thought groggily.

Then, there was darkness.

* * *

For the second time that night, Shuuhei woke up confused and disoriented. Blinking, he tried to sit up, but his head immediately spun, and he fell back onto the ground with a groan.

"Yo," came a familiar voice.

With some effort, Shuuhei managed to twist his body around to get a look at whomever it was who just spoke. "Madarame!"

"Head still attached?" Madarame Ikkaku asked with a smirk that could rival Renji's. His robes were torn in multiple places, exposing bruised and cut skin, but his trademark bald head was as smooth and shiny as ever.

"What?" Shuuhei was finally able to prop himself up on his elbows. "Ayasegawa-san, how's he—" He stopped. Yumichika was lying in Ikkaku's lap, still unconscious. Several layers of robes and blankets wrapped his lithe form, making him seem fragile. With his eyes closed, he looked almost child-like.

"What happened?" Shuuhei asked. It didn't escape his attention that one of Ikkaku's arm was wrapped protectively around Yumichika's body, almost cradling him, while the other hand was brushing Yumichika's dark hair, untangling the knots and whisking the stray strands away from the man's tear-streaked face.

"Let's just say that if I hadn't gotten here when I did, this idiot would—" Ikkaku's arrogant voice faltered slightly, then he coughed and averted his gaze to cover his brief display of emotion. "—he'd be dead."

"You..." Shuuhei let his sentence trail off, allowing Ikkaku to either acknowledge or deny the suspicion that had begun to form in his mind.

"The idiot doesn't know," Ikkaku said gruffly, and Shuuhei couldn't help smiling at the man's effort to maintain his "manliness" even under such circumstances.

"How long?" Shuuhei asked.

Ikkaku shifted awkwardly, obviously uncomfortable with this conversation. Just as Shuuhei was going to take back his question, Ikkaku sighed. "Since before we joined Gotei 13."

"That's a long time," Shuuhei said.

"Yeah," Ikkaku replied with a chuckle. "Idiot's too wrapped up in himself to notice. By the time I thought I could, you know, drop more hints, he went and..." He paused. "He went and, you know, liked you and shit."

Shuuhei nodded and kept silent. He could tell that Ikkaku hadn't finished his story.

"Yeah, so I figured, what the heck, as long as he's happy," Ikkaku continued, still too embarrassed to look at Shuuhei as he talked. "When he became more and more obsessed, I didn't know what to do. It wasn't healthy, but I couldn't...I didn't know..." His eyes closed as he struggled to go on. "I just kept watch, and...thought I could protect him if things got out of control."

Shuuhei nodded again. Things getting out of control was an understatement for what happened that night.

Ikkaku fists clenched tightly when he went on. "I should've...I should've known that it would happen, but I had to go and get drunk and..." A sound that sounded suspiciously like a sob escaped his throat, and he promptly turned it into a growl, but not before Shuuhei noticed.

"You got here in time, that's the only thing that matters," Shuuhei said. Then he cringed. Well, in time for saving Yumichika's life, but not...

"It's not your fault," Ikakku said immediately.

Shuuhei wanted to nod. Of course it wasn't his fault, and he knew it, but he wasn't able to stop it from happening, and that made him feel just as guilty.

"Listen," Ikkaku said fiercely when Shuuhei didn't respond. "Don't you go around blaming yourself. We have enough idiots in this room already without adding you to it."

Shuuhei opened his mouth to speak, then just at that moment, a small moan came from Ikkaku's lap. The bald man immediately jumped. "Yumi!"

"Ikkaku..." Yumichika whispered. His voice was scratchy from screaming so much earlier, but it was so thick with emotions that it didn't matter. Ikkaku and Shuuhei could understand him perfectly fine, and they knew, then, that Yumichika had been listening.

"Don't talk," Ikkaku said. There was a slight tremor in his voice which he didn't bother concealing. Yumichika was alive and conscious—that's the only thing that mattered to him now.

"I'm sorry," Yumichika said with a sigh.

Shuuhei and Ikkaku looked at each other. He didn't specify to whom he was apologizing, but they both received his message, and that was enough.

"Are you going to tell Abarai?" Yumichika asked, finally turning to look at Shuuhei.

"No." Shuuhei was initially unsure about that, but the distraught face in front of him made the decision for him. "Nobody outside this room will know."

Yumichika laughed softly, wincing in pain at the same time. "Soldier's honor?" he whispered wistfully.

Shuuhei reached and clasped his hand over Yumichika's. "No," he said with a smile. "This is a promise to one of the most precious people in my life."

* * *

What transpired in the room after he left, Shuuhei did not know. He had stayed to help Ikkaku with some healing _kido_, then left, knowing that the two of them had a lot of catching up to do. He knew it would not be easy for both of them, but he knew that Ikkaku was not one to give up easily. The man had made it clear to Shuuhei.

"I've waited for more than five decades, I can wait for a few more," Ikkaku had said when Yumichika passed out again as they healed him. Shuuhei had gripped him on the shoulder then, and, even though neither said a word, they both knew that a new kinship had been forged between them, a bond they now shared through their care for Yumichika—different kinds, but love and care nonetheless.

* * *

**I chose to leave Renji out of the ending, as I think this is something really private to Yumichika, Ikkaku, and Shuuhei. Perhaps one day, when Yumichika has finally healed and moved on (hopefully with Ikkaku!), it may be shared with Renji, but for now, it remains just among the three of them.**

**And, of course, I took the liberty to "expand" the ability of Yumichika's zanpakutou. ;)**

**Thank you all for reading and accompanying me through the story!**


End file.
